


Perfect Saint

by Doombuggybabe



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: BAU team reader, Completed, F/M, Fluff, One-Shot, little women - Freeform, might write a part 2, slight angst, suddenly forgot how to tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-02
Updated: 2019-12-02
Packaged: 2021-02-24 16:48:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21641215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doombuggybabe/pseuds/Doombuggybabe
Summary: Have you ever said something you regretted as soon as you said it? You’ve been doing it a lot lately.Sometimes you wished Penelope Garcia wasn't always right.
Relationships: Spencer Reid/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 194





	Perfect Saint

“All I do is drink coffee and say bad words,” you say exasperated.  
Garcia laughs loudly and pours you more wine.  
"Maybe that's what boy wonder likes about you, you both love coffee and use colorful language" Garcia suggests.  
"Garcia, the earth shakes when Spencer drops the word bitch let alone an f-bomb. He also likes to point out that my coffee is mostly sugar and therefore is an insult to coffee everywhere. And you know Spencer doesn't like me that way." You huff, sinking back into your sofa.  
Garcia was over for one of your girl’s nights. JJ, Emily, and Tara all bailed so tonight it was just you two. Sometimes you preferred it that way as Garcia was the only other person who knew that loved the same bad rom-coms.  
“Right. Just like you aren’t in love with Reid.” Garcia teases.  
“Pen, I love you but don’t make me pinch you.”  
Garcia sticks her tongue out at you. “You can’t pinch me just because you’re in denial.”  
You throw a pillow at her. After joining the team a year ago, Garcia has insisted and you and Spencer were perfect for each other.  
You tried to explain that you two were simply friends, best friends. If you were being honest with yourself, Spencer drove you crazy all the time. You often argued and his pranks on you made you try to attack him on more than one occasion. But that’s how it was between you two. Spencer took you to film festivals both foreign and domestic, he introduced you to phantasmagorias, knew all the best spots in the Smithsonian, and you showed Spencer the best pizza in Virginia, drunk Jeopardy, and all your favorite second-hand book stores.  
Besides, when it came to men you had the worst luck. You rarely dated and when you did it was incredibly short-lived. Part of you loving your BAU life was that you had an easy out from all those sticky relationship issues, you loved the job and you had your team. What more could you possibly need?  
“I think you’ve seen too many movies.” You finally say. “Not everyone falls in love.”  
“Famous last words, Y/N. Famous last words” Garcia laughs back.  
You took another sip of wine, your phone buzzed in your hand. Only two people ever messaged you and one of them was sitting next to you. You look down at your phone and start grinning.  
Spencer sent you a picture of an edition of Little Women. You started collecting them in high school, once you told Spencer about your collection he always sent you a picture of a copy if he found one. If you didn’t own it already, he’d buy it for you although you insisted he didn’t have to. You reply with, “I don’t know how you do it” confirming that Spencer has found another edition that you don’t own. “Where is it? I’ll buy it tomorrow.” You send another message.  
A few moments later your phone buzzes again, “Already purchased.”  
You reply with a line of emojis feigning anger. Another buzz. “I can bring it to work tomorrow.”  
“What does Reid want?” Garcia asks. You send another set of emojis filled with ones that sigh and then a smile so he knows despite your protests you’re thankful.  
“How did you know?” You ask.  
Garcia smirks knowingly, “You’re smiling at your phone.”  
____________________________________________________________  
Have you ever said something you regretted as soon as you said it? You’ve been doing it a lot lately. You’re in a small town in Florida surrounded by mosquitos and humidity. Baffled, at the fact that despite it being late at night it is still sweltering outside. Spencer somehow always got the best of you. It was worse when he made you feel inexperienced. Yes, you replaced him as the youngest member of the team but it was no excuse for him to treat you like a child. Okay, he didn’t treat you like a child but it felt that way every time you were urged to hold back. You wondered if you were ever going to find the right rhythm in this job. Everyone else always seemed to know the right call, the right move. 

The unsub Michael Holden was very much like Ed Kemper. Murdered young college women, a couple of which looked like they could’ve been your double. Prentiss thought bringing you in for the interview would cause him to slip up and confess. After all, what alpha male wouldn’t want to crush a young woman? Of course, they didn’t want to send you in alone and Spencer was the logical choice. This kind of unsub always viewed Spencer as the skinny kid on the playground they could bully. As soon as you walked in, Holden’s empty stare sent ice down your back. He licked his lips. “I won’t talk if pretty boy is here.” Holden was only interested in talking to you. Spencer looks at you for a moment, concern in his eyes. You nod, signaling him to leave. You remember Rossi advised to steer clear of mentioning his sister, he theorized that she was the intended victim and bringing her up might trigger a violent episode. You thought the push could lead to some answers. Why these girls? The door shuts and the unsub begins to look you up and down.  
“You’re a cute little thing Girl Scout,” Holden said, grinning.  
“It’s Agent Y/L/N.” You correct.  
“What do you want to know Agent Girl Scout?” Holden was toying with you. He wanted you to be angry. You show Holden the crime scene photos.  
“What made you pick Laura, Jenny, and Rosa? By all accounts, they were nice girls, cautious girls. How did you do it?”  
“I’m a handsome man girl scout. Don’t pretend you didn’t notice. I don’t like liars.”  
If you weren’t completed disgusted by Michael Holden, in another life you could see the appeal. He looks like the kind of family friend you grow up with. You’re invited to family vacations and babysit his kids. Until he brutally murders and dismembers you. 

“You’re a little old for me.” You say coldly. “Definitely too old for Laura, Jenny, or Rosa.”  
“Don’t tell me that scrawny pretty boy is your type. I’d break him like a toothpick and I’d show you what a real man can do. I’d have you screaming.” Holden snides. 

You feel Spencer watching you behind the two-sided mirror. It’s exactly the kind of comment that would make Spencer tense and clench his fists.  
“Do you think your mother would be okay with you talking to a woman like that? Didn’t she raise you better?” Judging on how he’s been speaking to you and how he treated his victims, Holden hates women. You’re expecting your comments to set him off. Just a little push.  
Holden leans back into his seat, crossing his arms across his chest.  
“My mother never did much for me. She was barely a mother.”  
“What do you mean by that?”  
“She hated me. Resented me after my father left her. Ignored me when she remarried. Once my sister was born, she didn’t even want me in the house. My mother saw the potential in me before I even saw it in myself. She didn’t even give a damn when the dog went missing.”  
Holden smiles hoping the comment is getting to you. You can see in his eyes he wants you to be scared. You stare at him coldly, determined to show him you’re anything but.  
“What about your little sister? Molly right?”  
You know Rossi told you not to bring her up but you can’t help but think this is the right thing to do.  
“Don’t you fucking dare talk about her.” The veins are pulsing in his neck, redness creeping in. His eyes go dark. This is the first glimpse at the monster lingering underneath.  
A smirk appears across your face. There is he in all his vile glory. “My team found pictures of Molly from college.” You pull one out, showing a young Molly Benson wearing attire from the early 90s. The dimple in her cheek matches Laurie Zuckerman to a T.  
“You couldn’t help yourself when you saw Laurie.”  
Holden’s fists are clenched so tight you worry he might draw blood.  
“I’d shut the fuck up if I were you, girl scout.”  
“Didn’t your mother teach you to use nice words? Or was she too busy with Molly?”  
The rest happens too fast. The screech of the chair rapidly sliding back and falling over as Holden shoots up. He grabs you by the hair, “You stupid bitch, you’re a mouthy one. Jenny was mouthy too. Until I cut out her throat” Holden says venomously. His other hand digs his nails into your neck. You feel his hot breath on your face. The door flies open and you know there are guns drawn.  
“Let her go or we shoot!” Rossi shouts. Slowly, Holden releases you raising his hands. You notice blood on Holden’s fingertips, he put one in his mouth and with a loud pop removes it. A sick grin emerges, “You taste so fine, girl scout”  
Spencer grabs your arm and escorts you out of the room. His face is flushed, clearly upset. Prentiss hisses, “What were you doing in there?”  
You feel your face flush with heat, adrenaline pumping in your system. Your heart is pounding in your chest.  
“He confessed to murdering Jenny, we have him.” You breathe. You sound like you just ran a marathon.  
Through the mirror you see Luke and Matt handling Holden. He’s looking passed them though, you can sense he’s looking at you.  
Prentiss opens her mouth in disbelief. “Y/N, what were you thinking? Rossi explicitly told you to steer clear of mentioning his sister and you do exactly that.”  
“I didn’t think the interview would get anywhere if I didn’t push him.” You explain.  
“You’re right. You clearly didn’t think at all.” Spencer says suddenly. “What you did was rash and stupid. Clearly, you aren’t ready for solo interrogations”  
You feel warm and embarrassed. Obviously, Prentiss would reprimand you but you didn’t expect that type of reaction from Spencer.  
You wrap your arms around yourself.  
“I made a call. It wasn’t the right one. Excuse me.”  
You brush passed Prentiss and Spencer, trying to hold in your tears.  
You run into the women’s bathroom to check out Holden’s damage. Nail marks are on your neck, thin lines of blood appearing. Your hair is messed up and your face is red and blotchy. You look like a mess.  
A knock on the bathroom door disrupts your train of thought. You open the door and see Spencer standing before you. “Is there anyone else in here?” Spencer asks in a low voice. You shake your head no and he walks in. You use the sleeve of your blouse to wipe your eyes.  
“What do you want?” you ask with an edge in your voice. “What was that back there?” Spencer asks. His voice is softer now, the person who snapped at you is no longer there.  
You cross your arms. “As you said, I did something rash and stupid.”  
Spencer gives you a pained expression.  
“Excuse me, I need some fresh air.”  
You walk around Spencer, leaving him alone in the women’s restroom.  
On the steps outside the police station, you sit, feeling the sweat pool in the small of your back.  
“Fuck,” you say to yourself. Violating direct orders was a great way to finish your first year. A part of you worried if this incident would have you transferred to another department. After all the years of struggling to keep the BAU together, the last thing the brass would approve of is an agent urging an attack from an unsub. Head between your knees, you think Emily doesn’t deserve to have to justify what her agents do. You’re supposed to be better.  
Luckily you avoided an emotional outburst, you already felt like a little girl. No need to make it worse. Your cell phone buzzed with a weather notification. While it was hot and sticky in Florida, you were receiving warnings of snowfall back home. Early for this time of year but welcomed all the same. Snow is a clean slate in your mind. You’re waiting to see all the white and breathe in a new world for a little while.  
For the rest of the night, you manage to avoid the team by asking an officer to drive you to the hotel. 

The plane ride home is quiet. You lay in the back and pretend to sleep the entire flight back. You can feel the stares on you. Rossi already spoke to you early in the morning, he told you while he didn’t approve of you disobeying direct orders, your moxie his words not yours reminded him of himself when he was a young agent.  
You ask Prentiss if you could take a couple of days. She agrees as long as no cases pop up. You hope the depraved can keep it to themselves for at least 24 hours.  
Sometimes you wonder to yourself if the BAU fits you as much as you want it to. Time and experience are the best teachers, you ponder if you’re too stubborn to ever look at it another way. You’ve always been a fighter. It’s how you made it to the FBI.  
You decide to walk home in the falling snow. It didn’t snow where you grew up, the stillness of the snow fills you with comfort. A perfect undisturbed world. You wonder what it would be like to live in a snowglobe, trapped but safe.  
A buzz disrupts your daydream.  
“I’m sorry”  
“I was harsh. I should have been helpful instead of critical.”  
Now he apologizes. Your pride wounded, you roll your eyes and shove your phone back in your coat pocket.  
Another buzz. Despite your annoyance, you read the message. “You can’t ignore me forever.”  
You reply out loud, “I can try.”  
“Did you know that there are several cognitive benefits of talking to yourself despite the social stigma that only the mentally ill do it?”  
You know that statistic spouting voice anywhere. You didn’t even realize someone was following you. You stop in your tracks.  
You hear the shuffling in the snow behind you. “Following people is creepy you know,” you say as soon as Spencer moves in front of you. “Technically this is the walk to my apartment.”  
“You never do this walk.”  
“Neither do you.” Spencer counters.  
“I wanted to clear my head.”  
The wind picks up, you wrap your coat around yourself tighter. You remember you’re supposed to be upset with Spencer and you walk around him.  
“You’re right to be upset with me,” Spencer says. You stop walking once more.  
“I know I’m right. I’m almost always right.” You say with false confidence.  
“Almost.” Spencer comes up beside you. His warm brown eyes fill you with something that makes your heart beat a little faster.  
“I got you something. An apology gift of sorts.” Spencer pulls out a wrapped gift.  
Only slightly reluctant, you open the present. It’s a DVD of the 1994 version of Little Women. The very movie that started your obsession in the first place.  
You run your fingers over the title. You remember rewatching Laurie’s proposal on a loop. You didn’t understand Jo. You still didn’t.  
“You can’t get angry like that when I make a mistake at work.”  
“You’re right. After seeing Holden grab you like that...” A vein in Spencer’s neck twitches. “I was scared and I didn’t even intervene. I didn’t react in time and I took it out on you.” Spencer’s eyes trail to the healing scratch marks on your neck. “I’m really sorry Y/N”  
You step forward to hug Spencer’ He stiffens for a moment before he wraps you in his arms. Before this moment, you never noticed how well he fits with you. He rests his chin on top of your head as if he has done it a thousand times before. You let go first. You suggest you both watch the movie at your apartment. Spencer immediately agrees. 

The snowfall begins again as you walk down the street.  
“I can’t wait for you to watch this. I know pop culture isn’t your thing but Christian Bale has been stealing hearts for a long time. Winona Ryder too.” You say excitedly.  
Spencer looks at you curiously, “I have seen this movie before. I was a teenager once.”  
You laugh, “Yeah a 14-year-old graduating from college. Prove it.”  
“How would I prove I’ve seen the movie?” You lose your footing slightly in the fresh snow. You lock one arm in Spencer’s to keep your balance. You grin at him.  
“Is that eidetic memory only for show? Proposal scene. Go!”  
Spencer purses his lips. His brow furrowed and his mind focused on recalling details.  
You start counting down. 5 4 3 2 1 -  
“We’ll kill each other.” You start, doing your best Winona impersonation.  
“Nonsense”  
“Neither of us can keep our temper.”  
“I can… Unless provoked.”  
“We’re both stupidly stubborn, especially you! We only quarrel”  
“We wouldn’t!”  
“You can’t even propose without quarreling!”  
“Y/N, dear Y/N, I swear I’ll be a perfect saint. I’ll let you win every argument.”  
Your heart flutters. Both you and Spencer laugh as he tries to use a fancy American accent. Something reminiscent of old wealth just like Laurie.  
Your both are so wrapped up in your laughter that you nearly pass your apartment building. You climb the steps as Spencer’s brushes the snow off your shoulders. As you shake your beanie, snowflakes fall on your cheek. Gently, Spencer wipes them away. You’re filled with warmth despite the snow falling all around you.  
Spencer holds the door open and follows behind you.  
“Famous last words…” you softly mutter to yourself.  
“Did you say something Y/N?” Spencer asks you, smiling crookedly.  
“Nope!” You say almost too quickly. You speed up your pace as you climb up the stairs, “Come on, popcorn is calling.” Spencer begins moving faster too, side by side trying to race you up the stairs. Something childish and sweet. Something Laurie would do with Jo.  
Famous last words.


End file.
